darling

just dream darling

dream dream your heart out

there isn't a better indulgence

reality's not a consequence

when you smile and carry the dream with you

and it is so much better than any plan

and

why

would you make any plans

if you're not dead

how becoming of you, smiling with your dream

so f the bastards

you are beautiful pure raw perfection, stellar smashing shining you.

you my figment with a dream

i love you darling

fleeting they create a master piece

nothing lasts. but please don't panic

over this fantastic idea,

for it's the only way a moment exists

it's the only way a line of a poem exists

or anything at all

it was the cardboard box at the top of the closet that read

'MOVING ALONG, EVERYTHING PROCESSES IN BEAUTY'

everything in disarray

is suddenly structured, those are

the fragments of your masterpiece

unfinished post

there isn't enough time between thoughts to process them, they just go and go and go like a person trying to walk being pulled by a dog on a leash. none of them ever reach their potential- of arriving at something like a concept. so that's why if i try to send you a message there is a one hundred percent chance you won't receive it

famous in green socks with holes

here i wear green socks with holes

and i hold a poster of brother ben's facebook connections, also his invention/ creation!

order your poster today- it's loads of fun. -> visit the socialprintshop

yours,

gaby

hospice

yesterday i saw what felt like my first patient

history of breast cancer, lung cancer, dementia, strokes

she was jewish a mother and a grandmother

she was petite, she had soft freckled skin and she was dying

there were many photographs in the room, she had been beautiful

today she feels warm; fast heart rate, cheyne-stokes breathing and no blood pressure

but she sleeps peacefully

"it will probably be today"

mrs. k wasn't my patient, but i won't forget her

her warmth and the pictures on the wall

that she was already so utterly confused

but that she heard me, felt me, maybe realized it was the end of something

and that it was okay and it was comfortable

the new yorker's Letting Go

...

All I know is that I need you

Do not ask me to remember.

Don't try to make me understand.

Let me rest and know you're with me.

Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept.

I am sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you

To be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me.

Do not scold or curse or cry.

I can't help the way I'm acting,

Can't be different 'though I try.

Just remember that I need you,

That the best of me is gone.

Please don't fail to stand beside me,

Love me 'til my life is done.

-an early stage dementia patient

everywhere else is the ground and this place is the sky

visiting

friends (2 of them)

this is one of my moves

this PT saved my back. she showed me how to heal my extraordinary machine.

school, and things

by trying to talk to you, i;m really trying to talk to me, but i'm talking to you. we collect words and the meaning that is attempted, does it become more, or less ambiguous ? blaa language

lots of drugs and it isn't a question of need but a question of safe usage and ability to alter some brain functions which make you be a certain way , think certain things, do certain things

a program uses logic, which is scary because a program is not a brain. and a brain is not logic

as usual it is quite satisfying to work tediously and to arrive, to conceptualize the atoms as molecules reacting. it's what they do

so easy that i like to expand all those ideas and it gives me pleasures and anxiety and little problems but i like it and i try to smile at you through the day even if it is hard and i shake and don't feel so well.

i have a whole lot of love

#1

france me manque

-the dreamers.

awww.

combien de bises / how many kisses ?

plus a messy french bun how-to is kinda cute.

Xx!

blogging

dear shani (and everyone else), i'm gonna blog more! really! i never post because 1. there's not a lot of projects i'm consistent with and 2. posting stuff is scary! it's weird. i don't know how to filter. i don't know what to filter. i don't know what i am. nevermind about that now. now is about electrochemistry, chemical kinetics, and nuclear chemistry (awesome). it's around 7:30 in the evening, just made fresh coffee, got earplugs and mindfulness bell set and am totally stoked to learn. i haven't done any of the homework and my test is tomorrow. so thrilling. into the hard sciences lately, among everything in the beautiful world. also languages, cultures, my classes etc . woah 20min distraction staring into space. thought about this baby horse , woopie pies (!), the internet, ucsd, god knows what else. maybe i thought about you. i love you,, gaby.

dreams

in honor of dreams, moving to boston, organization, communication, fun, etc etc etc , i'm now tumbling around here:

nextyearinboston

i love you!

gaby/gabs/gabbers/gab/california/lady gaga/gabriella/gab gab/ gaby gaby gaby/ ... did i get them all?

what?

newsstory

the news is a strange thing. those news people giving us our news. their stories, our news ...




Homeless-UCSD-Student

exploring society.

a society--

being swept up

transformed

thrown around

returned

evolving within itself

there is a whole other dimension we've yet to meet ,

it is moments away

the transient revolutions

&trying to keep some standards, like

1. eye contact

2. talknotsmalltalk

3. touch

let go of society, but

again it takes hold, reels you back in

necessary to neglect it

necessary to play it

overload me now

i'll be by the riverbed later

x x o x o

human interaction 2010

hello You human.

use this tool: Chatroulette

highly recommend it .

bisousss,

gaby

p.s. ^^this dude's music is pretty sweet too

bedtime

when it's bedtime

{

all happiness mushes together and you smile cuz you know the dreams are gonna be sweet;

}

super quick write

i feel so much

i always feel so much.

nervous,

inspired,

bothered,

down

and up,

worn out,

ansy,

slow,

en retard, toujours en retard

pour mon propre fête ! quelle dommage.

cold

tired

lethargic with little bursts

of energy

compulsive

reckless

awkward

uncomfortable

the empathy

removed

dreaming

bloated

overwhelmed

eee

empowered

strong

loving

hopeful

optimistic

searching

leader,

follower

sexual

maker of ugly art

craving bedtime

and sweets

and exercise

gawking

drooling

boycrazy

two-faced

confident

disturbed

proud

confused

dazed

upset

let down

active,

need to run

to play

to write to love

to DANCE

smitten

crush on the world

people

family

animals

a page of my blog

my garments

and things

and you

YOU

a fool

a rebel without a cause

the music

in my ears

in my heart

the sweat drops

the blood

the occasional tear

i need more tears

no one would understand

i couldn't understand

shine on

that fire

that sex

those dreams

and you're the person

and we're supposed to be in love

but i can't find the words or the expression

i can't find me

me born in july of 88

in hampshire, england

and to be what person

of which community , of which pool of lovers

and in which weather

because where o where

do i need to be

will it ever be right?

when i breathe in

during yoga and stretch my body in all the best ways

and become increasingly flexible

and i take fish oil and aloe juice and my joints work well

and i run and swim

dance and flail my arms

there is always more to stretch and to more air breathe

always

and when i paint and when i study and when i sit at the computer

when i say i love you

the satisfaction does not come

the energy of the universe

imploding and exploding

but staying constant

even making a coffee

or a cake

going out for drinks

taking a walk

instant gratification,

and that's good

and i want more

and i think of funny things

i think of you and i laugh

i think of the world

so beautiful

in every way

there are no words

and so i laugh

there is no satisfaction

and so i strive

harder

cuz you know it's not about getting ahead of anything

besides your own person

there is only you

in the body you've got

what you've got

a miracle

miracle, gift, LIFE

and so i need to preserve life

i need to save lives

i have to nurse you

watch you die

i'll take care of you beautiful thing

like it's the only thing i can do

i love you

you make me feel like a person

passion lover animal dreamer rawr

my babies.

XO.

israeli, on "rights"

you are 18

you are responsible

trusted

carry a gun and protect your country

fight wars

experience crazy shit

yes you are old enough

you are 21

you are responsible

trusted

to drink alcohol

maybe decide to get behind the wheel

and drive your car

yes you are old enough

robo.to (:

dear beautiful people

you can now watch short clips i make . . . enjoy :

JSUISFOLLE

love gaby